Holy shit! Love

  • those Presidents! In a mere century we’ve gone from boring old Frank Roosevelt (“We have nothing to fear except ugly wives named Eleanor and excessive wheelchair bills from the damn Jews”) to saxophone-playing, cigar-up-the-vagina-stuffing president Bill Clinton, who brought the “deep” in Washington’s journalistic “Deep Throat.” Clinton was certainly as wonkily brainy as Roosevelt, but ten times as perverted — and he wasn’t satisfied with hideous man-dyke Hillary Rodham Clinton. Clit-Rod would allow her man to … but anyway, we’ll talk about that later. Let’s fast-forward to Donald Trump.
  •       Trump represents the apotheosis of Interesting Cool Guy Presidents. Even Obama, his predecessor, was kinda interesting, with his ability to appear on Comedians In Cars Having Coffee with Jerry Seinfeld and his modulated-voice basketball pop culture references. When Obama nagged you with liberal moralism, he said it in a way that made you think, You know what, man? This half-African is a total beneficiary of Affirmative Action, from his Harvard days to his limited work history to his Mix Instant Coffee Instant Senator days, but when he talks about Russia in the Crimea and bad Assad with chems in Syria, you think, hey, he’s half-right.
  •       Trump, of course, was on TV. And we all know that TV is a superior popular medium over movies.
  •       Movies always look slightly strange on television, as if shrink-wrapped to mere human dimensions from the realms of Olympus. Governor Schwarzenegger and President Reagan, A-list and B-list actors respectively, benefited from movies, but their larger-than-life personas did not play well in the heartland because movies are just too powerful. Movies make you a titan, and sprinkle the pixie dust of Statesman Lite over you. Grinning Reagan seemed to shine with the light of the free world from his chest and Schwarzenegger looked smart in the political arena, all because we superimposed our memories of them in movieland with them versus mortals who had never been blown up in size in movieland. They looked one hell of a lot better politically.
  •       The ultimate persona to take would be the musician for politics. Elvis as King, if you were, literally, sceptre in hand, white jumpsuit with rainbow rhinestone buttons for royal outfit. The musician is known not for movies, but for videos, for MTV and Much Music. The ultimate coziness is hangin’ with your friends after school, soakin’ in the tunes and laughing and making comments, especially as girls. What could be more harmless and good-natured than a bunch of young twats, some menstruating, in their image as do-nothings in the world, powerless but future man-manipulating … and their idol of the moment, who they would elect in a second? Certainly Justin Bieber would be a better Canadian in charge of his country than Justin Trudeau. Prime Minister Bieber would be sexy on the ice skating in Rideau in winter and he would say the right things to all the female fans and he supports Canadian-style health care even though he’s American-style rich.
  •       You want to right-size yourself. The television expands you, but keeps you within reach. There is (currently, until I dump it in the Lake) a statue of Queen Victoria in the very heart of Hamilton. Bitch stands on a pedestal, high above, but I’ve seen little girls mount the stone pedestal for iPhone photos. She’s a reachable tart — twatty looks regal, supposedly, but a member of our reality. Being bigger, she in fact is an optical illusion. Everyone knows TV is a kind of distortion of what’s real (movies have the imprimatur of a better world, realer in many ways) and that brings acceptance to the foibles of its stars.
  •       That brings us to U.S. President Donald Trump, a spectacular reality star who had a pretty successful (good enough) show about apprentices striving to beat out the others to come work for The Donald in New York as part of the Trump Organization. Only featuring Donald in essentially cameo roles, it nevertheless made Trump and paved the way for his electoral rise, because what Donald did was seem to be a judge with a clown’s wand in his hand. His stern face, his buffoonish hair, his cool helicopter, his acting like a working man propelled to great wealth all combined to make him popular with the normal Joe and equally unpopular with his fellow rich. Trump himself says the rich hate him, confirmed, by the 45-41% defeat of Trump by Governor Kasich in the Republican primary in his own district of ultra-rich and cosmopolitan and stylish Manhattan.
  •       The Island of Manhattan is separated from the other boroughs by not just water but a veritable ocean of culture and money. Everyone in Manhattan cohabits a universe of social and financial insecurity that makes them interesting rather than fat and sluggardly. Once Trump was walking with his daughter at the depths of his debt debacle (try saying that alliteration three times fast) and he pointed to a homeless man and said, “That man has a higher net worth than me.” The ups and downs of life in Manhattan — the inevitable divorces, one suspect incestuous incidents in certain families, Central Park murders, nigger uprisings — make the rich white people who own much of the world, but know they can lose it tomorrow, uncertain, uncaring, and domineering. That domineering attitude is a postmodern expression of gigantism, perfectly fit for television and the Presidency.
  •       Rewind back to polio sucka Frank Rose in the Thirties. Wheelchair buddy had just won the election. Although man-Rosie smiled a lot, and had help standing up, he was callous and cold, often turning cruel to others (as documented in biographies). Being burned by life and polio, and saddled with a shit-lousy wife, yet indoctrinated in socialist nonsense, these factors combined to make Roosevelt a man who would start the trend toward interestingness. Not great, but getting there. Remember: early beginnings. His life story was interesting. Laid low by polio. That sounds like a Shakespearean play. Served in the navy. Hmm. Military man. That’s even better than Shakespeare — more like those new sound-included movies coming out. Awright, raise a nonalcoholic beverage in these Prohibition days!
  •       Roosevelt was dignified but seemed to be a Big Brother (in the non-Orwellian sense) to the millions thrown out of work by the recession. Terrible times are interesting, and Roosevelt was the Lord of Terrible Times. Waving his hand forward, ushering men back to work, supporting the building of the Empire State Building, optimistic yet kinda sadly tragic, he was the kind of guy who would buy you a new barbecue with his money if you could get him some tight young ass from your connections to plow. He was filthy rich but he seemed like he cared. Contradictions are inherently interesting, as the pick-up artists ascribe to the tiny female peabrain but that really apply to the vastly superior male mind.
  •       In this essay, I am going to talk about Roosevelt, Kennedy, Nixon, Carter, Reagan, Clinton, Obama and finally Trump. My favorite leader by far is Trump. I will briefly describe why I love his ass so, and then contrast this with the likely positives he garners among the typical voter. But first let’s bring a villain in. The lowdown, despicable Hillary Rodham Clinton.
  •       Clinton is a stick-in-the-mud, stubborn-in-a-bad-way feminist who prizes ideology over life. And she’s old and overweight. She’s a grandmother. Obvious to me, she was character-assassinated by TV producers across the land who were white, in their 40s, and male — and who vomited, finger down the throat, at the prospect of looking at a hag on their TV control monitors for 4 or possibly a nightmarish whole 8 years. Liberal in their politics, they were porn-watching teenage gang bang girl stars in their preferences (had two girls who were 18 and 19 and fellated one guy’s dick been up for Prez and Vice-Prez, I guarantee — and I am being completely serious — the Producers would have found a way to get them in).
  •       So Hillary was hideous to the Command Crew and that doomed her. Usher in the dark hero, Trump.
  •       Trump is fairly handsome and definitely interesting. As the highest form of evolution of the American President, he represents Strength, Durability, Intelligence, Far-Sightedness and Aspirations. It is perhaps significant for a president that his aspirations be as big as the country’s he leads. For a billionaire in the media complex to rule the world’s hyperpower is sweet poetic justice in a good way. Trump also has a builder’s past — incredible serendipity for a man who threatens to build a wall with Mexico and negotiate (Art of the Deal) so that they pay for it. For a man who took over the failed government project to refurbish a public ice rink in New York and made it go on time, this is a great promise to Texans and Arizonans alike.
  •       I like Donald Trump because he is mostly uncensored in that rough New York style that is more Bronx than Manhattan. Southerners from the redneck-dominant states are interesting and New Yorkers more than match them for stand-out qualities that make you love ’em or hate ’em — but not forget ’em. His hatred for Rosie O’Donnell is great, his lusting for models is wonderful (he owned his own modeling agency to easily hook up with them which every guy on earth finds fantastic — not to mention his stewardship of Miss This That contests) — and Trump appears on TV shows talking about bitches he’s banged. How can you not live the Trump dream vicariously, practically getting your dick wet on quality pussy he’s taken by semi-force? The man’s obvious bullying qualities are also a pleasant change from the political norm where “consensus” and “bipartisanship” gets at least lip service.
  •       In my assessment, the average American is more enamored by his strength and his determination, but still semi-enchanted by what I admire. Hillary Clinton, who threatened fellow women and let lapse the marriage violations of Bill, is unforgivable to many Americans because she matches defense of a scoundrel with constant lying. She is as ugly in her soul (if women have a soul) as she is bloated in her pant suits and garish colors. She’s a fashion disaster with a big fucking feminist mouth who needs to have her teeth knocked out. A Hillary presidency — an impossibility in retrospect — but had it happened, it would have been photo ops for “empowering girls” mingled with negro shout-outs from Washington ghettoes while the American military — fine rapier of the world — suffered. America demands greatness just as much as it demands quality leadership and quality TV fun.
  •       The most boring Presidents of the last 40 years — retrograde blips on the map of steady upward progress — have undoubtedly been Carter and Bush, Dem and Repub respectively, but equally shitty. If Carter had a website it would be “Let’s Help Me Build A Habitat For Humanity And Hug A Dove” and if Bush had one it would be “Prudent Gardening Tips In The Depth Of A Drought.” They both sucked — really bad. It is always a tragedy when boring or disgusting people succeed to the presidency (Lincoln, you railthin freak, I’m looking at you), but it is especially lamentable when they combine a lack of comprehension of their role in appearing regularly on TV to the American people with a governing style that is dry and dessicated as an old whore’s vagina. Nobody wants to see a loser get power, and that’s what a boring shit is — a loser. Bush’s tenure at the CIA should have given him a sparkle of excitement and a frisson of newness — if not James Bond, then Sean Connery in The Hunt for Red October. Yet nothing stuck. He was the opposite of his former boss, Reagan. Nothing bad stuck to Ronnie Raygun, and nothing good stuck to I-Hate-Broccoli George H. Bush.
  •       Bush was a weinie. It is a miracle — and product of a weak field — that he managed to vault to leadership. Look at Clinton. The man is so perfectly fake he is like a gorgeous plastic plant that has no life in it but looks great and requires no tedious watering. He hides his deviancy well, but hugs you for your pain. The dolphins can be free of the tunaship webs under his presidency, and we can hurry to turn off those autonukes in the ICBMs and build a better, safer world. Under Clinton, the Presidency became a limpwristed faggoty City on the Hill where it was possible for the economy to thrive under new technologies. It is easy, in retrospect, to associate Clinton with a world on the verge of the Internet and a more permissive general media. Clinton ushered in fun over morality, despite his fake, poseurish caring, and his buddy Al Gore was rebuffed (his home state of Tennessee rejected him) for being too earnest and boring and wooden. It was no surprise Clinton cheated on Hillary, but Al Gore would never cheat and no one respects an honorable man under the thumb of his mate. The French demonstrate how much more stylish and cool it is to at least have one mistress, one step in the right direction of possessing a harem.
  •       Nixon was a case study in how five o’clock shadow, malevolence, and an FBI G-man’s propensity for making tapes and blacklisting enemies could be a wild sideshow in the boring affairs of workaday life. Imagine you lived in the 1970s and you worked at Nabisco or IBM as a salesman, you come home to kick up your feet and there’s Nixon, under fire for taking bribes or for escalating in Vietnam when he said he would withdrawal, an erratic loose cannon, glowering in a kind of interesting way, a mild demon from a reverse pantheon of malcontents. You could kind of grow to like Nixon.
  •       Kennedy himself was easy to see fucking Marilyn and ditching his bitch and John-Boy in pursuit of orgasm. Kennedy was young and the central figure in the myth of “Camelot.” Camelot! A whole mythology ready made! What could be greater than that? A kyweb of knights and wizards, villains and star-crossed peasant girls with big tits who made it in Hollywood. Kennedy was kewl.
  •       I appreciate like a raised glass of fine wine the way Kennedy made the Pax Americana real and hard-felt like concrete under the hands. He fucked that Russki leader so bad, you could feel the ass-hurting generations later. The Russki chairman was overthrown later by his cronies for his weakness after the ass-coring, and America proved that it had no equal in the world (there is also no doubt that had their been a nuclear war, American technology versus Russian shit would have proven a lopsided casualty ratio of something like 25 Russians dead for every 1 American, and only paranoid fears gave Russian “advanced weaponry” any credence).
  •       Kennedy made his mark on the TV. Listeners to radio broadcasts said Nixon had won the debate, but Kennedy looked more presidential. The problem candidates from California traditionally have had is that they look like lightweights. Doesn’t matter if you’re a lawyer like Tricky Dick or a thespian and GE schiller like former lifeguard Reagan. California turns you into a balloon, floats you away into the atmosphere. Masschusetts — that drawling Boston accent where you drive in your caaaaa — somehow rings of Harvard, the most prestigious university of America, located in Boston, home of the educated Boston Brahmins. California’s beaches and fun pulverize its seriousness and gravitas.
  •       Californians are all smiles and fake social harmony. Everybody goes along to get along in California. In New York City, it’s “fuck you pal, get outta the road, you blind man!” In Malibu and Berkeley Cali it’s take it easy. Remember the scene in True Romance, written by Californian Quentin Tarantino, where Brad Pitt plays the lax stoner giving directions where he drawls with pleasant, fatal stupidity, “You keep going and going” — hilarious. California is the death of dweebs, too. Men like Wozniak who rose to prominence on Apple’s shoulders suffered from the California culture of popularity. California is all about popularity. It’s high school blown up massively to 35 million student body size.
  •       And where is TV land located? What makes or breaks the modern politician? From whence does the American victor-politician step? The TV shows of L.A. La La Land understands presidents viscerally, makes them or breaks them. Sure, Kennedy brings his Brahmin supportive earnestness to the screen, but it is Los Angeles televising him live to the nation, shining his prettyboynicehairboyfriend light through the prism of television direction, mythology and means.
  •       Nixon succeeded because, as a politician, he overcame his ugliness and made it work for him. The man he was would not give in, and he realized that America would take his rough-hewn charisma as a kind of settling-in of American global dominance. It was no longer necessary to pursue Johnson’s war, because America was hegemon. “Rolling back” the domino effect of Communism became meaningless in a world progressively under the thumb of American culture, visions and corporate muscle. How could “Upper Volta with missiles” as the U.S.S.R. was called possibly challenge the super-dynamic American republic with fins on all its cars? The only comic book character possible for the X-Men was the brawny steel Russian muscleman. No brains, no subtlety, no social skills — kinda thuggish really. Without the other X-Men, he’d be defeated in a thrice. The Russian defeat in Afghanistan years later was a whimper of a battle. No one doubts the Russians do alright in defense, but on offensive they’re the girls’ field hockey team at your local high school — and remember California is your high school. That makes the Russians gay cheerleaders for Nixon’s manly football team.
  •       Clinton would have done fine in Nixon’s Cabinet; as a leader who was impeached nearly for his perjury under oath, he followed in Nixon’s impeachment footsteps of unreliability, political danger and facetiousness. No one could make a joke quicker than Reagan about Communism — and that was interesting — but Bush was banal and dry in his little bon mots.
  •       As general administrators, the overall trend in presidents has been up. Trump has proven to be slightly incompetent in dealings with right-wing Cuckservatives who obey the liberal orthodoxy in part, but his business background, like Italian billionaire-ruler Silvio Berlusconi, should give him an edge in the 2016-2024 period. His aggressive temper, Trump’s, could lead to an American dictatorship — which might be a glory-godsend for the U.S. Story. Remember Rome is remembered throughout the ages for its Empire, not for its limited government version. It is easy to see an Eagle spreading its wings daintily across the entire globe, and ruling it from Washington. This Empire might last a 1,000 years, making English the Latin of future times. And Trump could be to thank for it. From both a human-interest, entertainment and an administrative slant, Trump has the potential, long-term, to be the best thing that ever happened for America — and the world.

~/ Xwarper